The little rejections and dejections

Miles, Miles, Miles, Miles

Miles, the giant "what if" in my life. What if we were more than friends? What if it's all in my imagination? All of it? What if I fucked it up? What if I'm the reason we're where we're at? What if it was me who couldn't make a decision?

I'm moving out. He's moving out sooner. What if I created this game of one-up-manship? What if by trying really hard to be only friends, it turns out we're barely even that?

But more importantly why does this, he, him, all of it bother me so much?

That Knot in Your Chest You Just Can't Untangle

Strings that have wound themselves into a ball under my sternum and is pressing uncomfortably:

- My parents are coming to visit

- The future

- My un-date-ablity despite being pretty freakin' awesome.